Warning: This post talks about boobs. Sorry about that, the story made me laugh, just couldn’t help myself!
This week was hard. I should probably say this last week and a half was hard, because the hard part really started with Valentine’s Day, and the cookies. For some reason for me Valentine’s Day is not about flowers, jewelry, cheesy cards or chocolates. (Although really, shouldn’t every day be about chocolate?) Instead, Valentine’s Day for me is all about one thing, sugar cookies! So of course the girls and I made some (recipe here if you missed it) and they were super yummy. But cookies are my kryptonite. It doesn’t matter what kind of cookie it is, if they are in my house I have to eat ALL of them. Oops. It wasn’t too bad, though, I refrained somewhat, I still lost weight and didn’t undo too much progress.
I also had a problem with my 30-day measurements, which I took last Saturday. I lost half an inch from my chest, an inch from my waist, half an inch from my hips, and half an inch from each thigh. So really, I did awesome! My problem with my measurements is all in my head, and I know it. I lost fewer inches during that 10 days than the 10 days before, but that makes sense as I have fewer inches to lose. I also can still see that my body is changing and getting better. My belly is flatter. I finally have calf muscles again. And I’ve missed you, collarbone! So nice to see you again! So why am I being so hard on myself?
And what about my weight? I lost another 2 pounds this week, which is great! That is 11 total since starting TAM, 36 down from my heaviest. I really don’t want to be losing any more weight than 2 pounds each week and I’m really happy with how well I’ve done at sticking to just the 2 pounds. But now I’m just 9 pounds short of my goal. I am so very happy to be so close, and at the same time I am very frustrated! I think I had the idea that when I was this close I would look different than I do now. Yes, the cottage cheese thighs are going away, and fast, but they are still there. I also still have the post-baby pooch for sure. Somehow I thought that when I was this close that I wouldn’t still be seeing so many areas that need so much work.
So here’s what I’ve been trying to focus on to try to cut myself some slack.
First off, my goal that is 9 pounds away is an intermediate goal. It is the weight at which I am just fine if the scale does not move ever again. My plan has always been to get to that point and then reevaluate. If I’m happy at that point I can just maintain, and if not, I would feel comfortable losing another 5 to 10 pounds and still consider myself in the healthy range. With my body structure I don’t think it would be healthy to go any lower than that. So basically, it’s okay that I’m not where I want to be yet! I’m not supposed to be there yet!
Second, this is just me guessing so if anyone knows this for real, please let me know, but I think that losing 10 pounds when you only have 10 to 20 more to lose is going to be more visible than when you have 50 to 60 pounds to lose and you drop 10. Is that right? Anyone? Bueller?
Third, I feel fantastic! No matter what I look like and if my body never changes ever again, I would still keep doing this because I just feel so much better.
Here is a picture taken last night. Please keep in mind that I was exhausted from chasing kiddos all day while trying to work and fighting with the internet people, so excuse the messy hair and melty makeup.
While I was typing this up, Sweetheart came and sat on my lap and was telling me about this picture. “Mom, that’s you! And you are in the hallway, and you are looking at the hallway light. And you have boobs. Do you see those boobs?” And then she turned and patted me, just in case I forgot where they were. I really think some new bras are in order soon. Or a breast reduction, something. Seriously, though, have any of my fellow TAMers had a reduction in the chest area? I’m hoping once I’m done nursing that that will help!