In Which I Admit That I’m Afraid – A Post Thanksgiving Ramble

Some of my before pics, from about May of 2011 and July of 2011.
At one point in this process my brother asked how I was doing, if I was still exercising as much and how it was all going. When I told him that I hadn’t missed a single day, he told me that I was a freak of nature.
This past week I slipped. I gave my big pre-Thanksgiving pep talk and had every intention of being very good while still indulging a little, all without guilt.
Ha, ha, ha! That’s pretty funny. To be honest, I started out pretty well. At my grandparent’s house I watched my portions pretty well, I filled my plate mostly with salad and veggies and nice, lean turkey. Then, despite being full, I ate a little bit more, and then I of course had to throw a slice of pumpkin pie in on top of that.
Then we went on to Marquis’s parents’ house. We arrived just as they were finishing up their own Thanksgiving dinner, so of course we grabbed plates and joined in. I only had a little because I was still so very full, but my belly protested adding even that much. I haven’t been that full in a long time, and I forgot how uncomfortable that is! But of course, there was more pie, and I just couldn’t let the day end without tossing in two slices of pie. There were two flavors I wanted to try, after all! My belly wasn’t sure what hit it, and I sure felt it that night and the next day. I still can’t believe that I used to think feeling that way was normal, and I walked around that bloated and over-full all the time!
To make matters worse, I missed my workout Thursday morning, and then because I was tired and Marquis didn’t go to work on Friday, I didn’t wake up for that workout, either.
All in all, this isn’t that bad, only a minor slip, and totally to be expected on Thanksgiving. I did my workout on Saturday instead, and I started again on Monday like normal. I’ve been eating very good things since (not wanting a yucky feeling belly like that is good motivation!) Plus, the scale hasn’t budged. In fact since then I have been hanging out at the lower end of my new “normal.”
But Thanksgiving made me realize something that I somehow have missed up until now. I am so scared! I have worked so hard to get away from that girl in those photos up there, what if it’s not permanent? What if I let a slip turn into a slide, and before I know it I’m back to where I was?
When I really think about it, I have changed what we eat so much, and not just temporarily. I also have become addicted to exercising, I love the way I feel, how strong I am, and how it just makes my whole day better. Because of those things, I don’t think I will ever go back to the way I was.
But wow, is that fear ever still there!

3 thoughts on “In Which I Admit That I’m Afraid – A Post Thanksgiving Ramble”

  1. Hi Emily, I have been following your blog (first the family one and then this one as well) for a while. I think you are great and doing great! And it was a holiday after all! A little indulgence is OK, I think, as long as you don’t beat yourself up over it. As long as you keep on going. I am now in the last stages of my PhD, so because of stress and work, I can’t work out as often as I would like, but I keep going slowly and I know I will be able to get back on track when I submit my dissertation.

    Don’t be too afraid: TAM has your back! 🙂

  2. Thanks, Emily! I just approved your blog claim. Now your Urbanspoon profile picture is displayed on your blog page. You can upload a blog-specific photo if you prefer, and can change a few other blog settings there. Also, if you vote for a restaurant that you’ve reviewed on your blog, we now show your vote next to your post everywhere on our site.

    http://www.urbanspoon.com/br/54/9680/Salt-Lake-City/Thats-What-I-Eat.html

    Best,
    Greg

    http://www.urbanspoon.com


    greg(at)urbanspoon(dot)com

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